Your body’s voice: Letters from your authentic self
Sometimes we come to a point in life where we realise that we’re not really sure who we are. This can happen for a number of reasons, but often we’ve been following a prescribed idea of what life’s supposed to look like. Ticking the boxes of what’s expected of us may have felt good for a while. It kept us connected to people in our life that we needed to stay close to. Perhaps it even felt like success. But something doesn’t sit right, you feel like something is missing and life often feels empty. You might be having trouble enjoying day to day activities or even find them meaningless. Has your life so far been based on someone else’s idea of what’s right for you? If this resonates, read on to learn how listening to your body can help you reconnect with your authentic self.
Your true self speaks to you through your body
Our Western world is a place where connection with the body is only just starting to be recognised as valuable. At the start of their journey, most of my clients have a lot of trouble getting in touch with what happens for them anywhere other than in their mind. Often when I invite someone to notice what happens in their body as they speak about a particular topic, they respond with their thoughts. While our thinking mind is an important part of the therapeutic process, it is not where our authentic self tends to reside. With practice we can learn to hear our body’s whispers (or screams) and understand what it’s communicating to us about our needs and desires. Our body’s messages come through as our emotions, physical sensations and urges to move. These can guide us on the path of self-discovery and personal growth.
Emotions - The language of your soul
One of the ways our authentic self talks to us is through our emotions. They are experienced in our body and often speak to us about things we aren’t able to express in words. Some of us have trouble allowing ourselves to feel and we have a tendency to talk ourselves out of our emotions. “I shouldn’t be feeling angry” or “It’s not right to envy someone”. Your emotions are always valid and have important information for you. Anger may mean your boundaries have been crossed. Envy tells you a lot about your desires. Becoming aware of our emotions as they come and noticing them without judgement, allows us to start learning about who the real us is. Next time you feel frustrated, see if you can hear what the frustration is telling you about your values and beliefs. In a moment of joy or contentment, pay attention to what aspects of this particular experience you like. Getting curious about the feelings we experience helps us understand what we enjoy, feel strongly about and what things in life unsettle our peace. This provides an opportunity to start making choices more aligned with our idea of a fulfilling and meaningful life.
Physical sensations - your body’s wisdom
For many people who find connecting with their emotions too scary, getting in touch with the physical sensations in their body doesn’t seem nearly as intimidating. The sensations we experience in our body are a gateway to our emotions. You may notice you get tense around your shoulders when you’re stressed, your jaw gets tight when you’re angry or frustrated, anxiety may present as tightness in your chest and you may feel warmth in your upper body when you’re feeling loved and connected. While your mind may be led by stories it’s been taught about the way things should be, the physical sensations you experience can serve as a guide for your inner truth. When we go against our true values, needs and desires our body lets us know. It also tells us when we’re well aligned with them. We just need to pay attention and learn to read the signs.
Urges to move - Dancing with your soul
The body’s wisdom, when allowed to have a voice, can often tell us exactly what we need. It may urge us to stretch parts of our body, dance, run, hit a cushion or let out a big sigh. These are all natural ways of releasing emotions. Allowing ourselves to listen to our body’s urges helps us to express and release feelings that could otherwise be bottled up. Our intuition also communicates with us through our body by urging us to move in certain ways. We may experience a pull towards or away from something or someone. We might suddenly feel like we need to leave a place, touch a tree, smell a flower, jump in the water or give someone a hug. These impulses are invitations to let go of restrictions imposed upon us and to connect with the essence of who we are.
Feeling disconnected from yourself can be confusing, isolating and overwhelming. You might experience a sense of emptiness inside and struggle to have a direction in life. Maybe you’re feeling like you’re not good enough or you’re failing somehow. Often this happens when we’ve been trying to fulfil someone else’s expectations of how we should live our life that doesn’t really align with our true values, desires and passions. If you weren’t encouraged or allowed to explore what those are, your true self may have been suppressed. This is because you needed to fit in with others’ ideas of what’s right in order to belong. Such barriers may still be present to some extent, but you’re an adult now and you can make choices that express more truly who you really are. Your authentic self isn’t elusive, it’s always been here and it’s talking to you. It’s never too late to embark on a self-discovery journey. Start listening.
