Why “Stutz” is worth watching even if you don’t care about therapy
My reflection, as a therapist, on Jonah Hill’s Netflix original documentary.
When I first heard about the film Stutz I got very excited. I celebrate any opportunity to promote psychotherapy. Not just because it is my way of making a living, but because I genuinely believe in its power to help us heal from painful experiences and live more fulfilling lives. Whether you’re a fan of therapy already, on the fence or indifferent, you might find this documentary at least interesting, if not moving. Here are some of my reflections:
This documentary provides an insight into the relationship between the psychotherapist, psychiatrist and author Phil Stutz and his client, the actor and director, Jonah Hill. It is essentially an interview between Jonah and Phil, in which they attempt to explain some of the “tools” Phil uses in his work with his clients. Phil also opens up about his life and what led him on the path of becoming a therapist. As the film progresses, Jonah comes to a realisation that he’s trying to stay out of the picture in order to make this about Phil and his work, but in doing so, he’s keeping what’s the core of the work, out of the picture too. It’s his own vulnerability. This is something many of us may relate to. For most of us vulnerability hasn’t been modelled well and it may feel too exposing and scary. Vulnerability certainly takes some level of bravery, that’s why we also choose carefully who we are vulnerable with. To me, keeping one’s vulnerability out of the picture also resonated professionally.
Staying out of the picture is something many of us get taught in the process of becoming therapists. Many approaches completely steer away from any inclusion of the therapist’s experience. As a gestalt therapist, I am trained to be including myself in the picture. Self-inclusion is a part of one of the main aspects of what modern gestalt psychotherapy is about. Its relationality. (Read more about Gestalt Therapy). Most psychological wounds are born in a relational context and can therefore be best (if not only) healed also within a relationship. This relationship has to be respectful, transparent, authentic and caring. The therapist has to show up and be present as their whole human being with all their flaws and imperfections. It means being prepared to admit when we are touched, make mistakes or something has resonated with us personally - as long as this is believed to be in the service of the client. It requires a fair bit of vulnerability.
What unfolds in the documentary is a moment of Jonah’s awareness around the fact that he is a part of this relationship and without him sharing himself and his own vulnerability, he won’t be able to depict the true essence of what has been instrumental in helping him on his journey. Of course, in this case, Jonah is not a therapist and Phil isn’t his client. It’s a complicated role reversal, which leaves us with two human beings sharing, what appears to be, a deep and meaningful connection. Their mutual willingness to be authentic with each other is what, I believe, makes this connection possible. Vulnerability allows for authenticity, which opens doors to deep and meaningful relationships rich with closeness. Something so many people sadly lack in today’s world.
The documentary sets up a very unique scenario. Stutz and Jonah’s relationship isn’t a representation of a typical experience between a client and their therapist. We’ve already had a number of discussions amongst colleagues about some of the ethical issues this relationship would present in typical clinical settings. I certainly found myself placing some level of judgement on certain aspects of the relationship when I first started watching the documentary.
Once I removed myself from my assumptions and expectations, I was able to see two real men, who meet openly and benefit from sharing their realness. Watching that felt exciting, refreshing and encouraging. It confirms what I professionally believe about the importance of authenticity in our contact with clients, as well as my (at times) relentless determination to be fully myself in my personal life. I feel a great deal of hope for those who might find this documentary helpful in reaching out and getting help. It is also a reminder for all of us that “the work” never stops and nobody really has it all figured out, no matter how wise, successful or helpful to others they may be. We are all just humans, doing our best and learning along the way.
If you are interested in how therapy could help you — read my blog: How will therapy help me?
“Stutz” is available on Netflix now.
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